wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
