oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
