Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
