He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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