Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
