i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
