i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
