I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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