So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
