Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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