I need help removing her.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
