Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
