i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
