Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize