We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
