i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize