I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
someone owes me an orgasm
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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