Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
