and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
