At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
