just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
