a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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