Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
