Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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