I think my fart just growled at me.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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