were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
