my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The adults are the big ones right?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
