brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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