forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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