6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
