Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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