this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
