okay pat passed out under dana's car
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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