what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
