the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
