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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
