i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
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