i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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