mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
