So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I wish you could order shots online.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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