you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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