Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize