I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
