What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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