drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
