oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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