the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
