I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
