I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
