I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
