So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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