For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Randomize