I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
