You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
