I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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