I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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