highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
