fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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